No, drunk sperm still make babies.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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