Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
