we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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