If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
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Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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