Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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