we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I fill condoms, not promises.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
