Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Still dying that you shit outside
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
