Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
