i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
