Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
