If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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