Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
