As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
