My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize