Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
