How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
