So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
