Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
only you would photoshop your dick
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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