i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
if only i could text you this smell
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
