She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize