the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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