dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
