so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
