but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
