My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
