you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
