I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
