if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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