No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize