For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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