the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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