babies were throwing up all over the place
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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