I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
