there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
