Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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