Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
