she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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