Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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