How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
