I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
