He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We left an ass print on the piano.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
