So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
