Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
