Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
