Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
