the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
