Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
