I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
