I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
