Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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