Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
