Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
