i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
