Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
