i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize