Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
