It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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