I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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