you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
