I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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