Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
