So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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