maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize