can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
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Do I have a choice?
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So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
