oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize